You can and should celebrate Mother’s Day however you see fit, regardless of your parenting status or relationship with your parents. And on this blog sometimes I’ve celebrated Mother’s Day with thoughtful introspection, and other times I’ve celebrated it in resolute silence. This year I wanted to write a list of the ten things I can’t live without because sometimes the props/artifacts tell their own stories.
1. Deck of Playing Cards–There comes a glorious day in every mama’s life when she no longer has to schlep around a diaper bag. My diaper bag through the course of my early-parenting days became a Mary Poppins bag of wonder. I carried toys, board books, wardrobe changes, meds-in-child-safe-containers, snacks and I can’t remember what else in addition to diapers and wipes and hand sanitizer. My diaper bag was heavy and conspicuous. I downsized to the smallest crossbody purse I could find when I said adios to the diaper bag days. A few years after this liberation, I realized that I needed something that wasn’t a screen on my person at all times to navigate the waits that come with everyday life for my littles. But something small that would fit in my LuLulemon belt bag. For over a decade now, I’ve been that mom playing a hand of Go Fish, Gin Rummy, Garbage, Golf, Hearts, or Chinese Poker at a restaurant table while we wait for our order. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve played cards on office/airport floors. ADHD/ADD and Autism and boredom don’t mix well and require a lot of accommodations. Mom carrying a deck of cards has been one of them.
2. Tin for carrying the deck of playing cards in my handbag at all times–the cardboard box a deck of playing cards comes in was not designed to hold up to the wear and tear of daily life. Also it isn’t waterproof. I upgraded to this tin. I even decorated mine with a snazzy sticker.
3. Frother–I make cocoa from scratch multiple times daily. No one would drink it without this baby. Given to me by a fellow mama and bestie, I now can blend all kinds of elixirs instantly into hot water and/or milk. Cocoa. Dandy Blend. Inulin powder. Protein powder. Even peanut butter. With as much or as little sugar as we want (because some of us Trents like it bitter!!!). Uniform texture. Ready in seconds. A total game changer, especially since my people have very strong opinions about texture and taste.
4. Korean Sunscreen–Mr. Trent had shockingly red hair growing up. The color faded by the time we met, but he remains super photo sensitive. And let’s not talk about the times Accutane has come to our house. We’ve tried every boogie sunscreen on the market, and nothing worked. Then one summer, I heard a news story on NPR about the technology of Korean skincare, and how our FDA is slow to adopt the same tech for “reasons.” Mr. Trent, did some research and we found this line: Skin 1004. And it is a game changer. No odor. No white film. No grease. And it works. We buy it in bulk. I keep it in my purse. Keep it in my car. It is life changing. I am the mama who if you ask randomly at CU Boulder or on a hike or on an airplane, if she happens to have sunscreen, will respond in the affirmative and will share.
5. Pill Organizer–I keep a mini pharmacy on me at all times. Why? Because the alternative of not having ginger for motion sickness, Dramamine for intense motion sickness, my statin, headache meds, tums, and and and means stopping and trying to source it on the fly. This used to happen all the time. Doing without or forgetting to take a med also happened often. Boo! One day, I was at my SIL’s house and she was putting one of these together for her daughter, and I was like, “That! That is what I need.” At first I thought it would just be convenient for travel, but now it is a bit of piece of mind I cannot live without.
6. Packing cubes–Doesn’t matter if I am taking a single 25L backpack on a Frontier flight, road tripping, or getting on a plane bound for an international destinations. Packing cubes are a game changer, and I have Auntie (different and equally dear SIL) to thank for it!!!
7. Slides–My sister told me about these years ago. She said, “They cured my plantar fasciitis.” So now I wear these as house slippers, all day, every day. They’re so comfortable, and they’ve cured my plantar fasciitis. One Christmas I bought a pair for each of my girl friends.
8. Loops–I’m the odd woman out in the Trent home when it comes to neurodiversity. It has been eye-opening for me to understand how the sensory load can dysregulate us all–my people just externalize/internalize regulation in more obvious ways. Noise is particularly dysregulating in sneaky ways, and while noise canceling headphones are a game changer for many activities (never fly without them), they aren’t especially portable for day-to-day. I carry a couple sets of the low-tech spongy ear plugs in my purse at all times, but them along came Loops and wowie! What a game changer!
9. Podcasts–How do you get a family of four from Boulder to Denver in one piece? Greeking Out was our favorite during the elementary school years. Last summer we drove from our house to Leadville to Aspen to Glenwood listening to The Good Whale. Radiolab is our current favorite. Shout out to the episode about caterpillars and butterflies and the one about color.
10. Flowers–Flowers do a lot of heavy lifting in my life. I love them. I buy them for myself. I buy them for my family. I buy them for friends. I buy them for horses. The science behind the tangible benefits of fresh flowers is real and ridiculously awesome. Wearing flowers on Mother’s Day is not a declaration of your status as a mother. Traditionally, it was a way of honoring the woman and/or women that are your mother(s). But traditions are adaptable. And we can buy ourselves flowers any day of the year. Just ask Miley.
Things are just things. They are not the people, pets, experiences, or places that I love that make my life so full and wonderful. They are gadgets and regalia, the sonic screwdrivers that add a little color to my character. Buying these things is a bit like giving MacGyver a roll of duct tape and Swiss Army Knife. They don’t solve any problems or fix any systems by themselves, but they are some of the tools of my trade and with them at times I’ve accomplished some very strong work. Happy Mother’s Day to everyone out there doing equally strong work!